Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
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For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
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Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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