So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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