i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
