pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
