I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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