Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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