the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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