My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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