you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
