the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
