I think I died a long time ago.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
