My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
dude. I can hear the air.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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