Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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