Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
