i don't plan on having that self control this summer
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize