i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
