I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
