Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
