i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize
