I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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