I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
