In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
