I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
