That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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