She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You took a bar mat shot.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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