How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Send help, water and tortillas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize