i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
