i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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