i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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