That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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