Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
