Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
