She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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