I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
