so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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