dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
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I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
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My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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