Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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