I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you will always have a special place in my vag
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
