Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
