that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I need to calm my uterus...
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
