Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Randomize
