No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
