I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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