her vagine was all disorganized.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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