Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
