You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Come see our sink grown plant.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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