you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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