Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
