I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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