So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
