you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
