I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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