I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
