I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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