ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
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