I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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