I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
