But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
