Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
NoShamevember. You game?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
