i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
