Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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