so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
