I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize